For a long time now, I’ve been pretty jaded about the idea of unexplained and unexpected events from out of nowhere changing a person’s life.  Yeah, that’s how these stories always start, right?  Skeptic, undergoes strange experience, blah-de-blah blah blah.  Hasn’t happened to me for 8 years now.

Though in this case, I’m sure there’s a perfectly valid biological explanation for it.  I just hope it’s not a tumor.

The short version is, I was in the middle of the mall last weekend when I had the most interesting experience of disorientation and dizziness, followed by a feeling of sheer euphoria.  When it passed, all of my social anxiety was gone, I experienced a new clarity and sharpness of thought, and I felt happier than I’ve ever felt in a while.  The feelings of euphoria and mental sharpness (mostly) went away over the next few days, but since then, I’ve actually been able to hold conversations with people without feeling out of place.

Now, one week later, the feeling has mostly passed, but the reduction in fear seems likely to stay.  It’s a good thing, because I’m at a critical point in both my software and writing careers right now.  Software-wise, I’m at an internship where I really want to show what I can do.  Part of that is in interaction with co-workers.  Writing-wise, I’d really like to ask someone to beta-read story once I’m done with this pass of editing.  Before the Event, the thought of such filled me with absolute terror.  Now, I can live with it just fine, even if the response is absolute rejection.  I can see the bright side of everything at last.

I’ve also noticed some other things from my happier mood.  For one thing, I’ve been eating healthier and smaller portions recently.  I just don’t need to eat to feel happy anymore, and I’m quite glad about that.

It seems that miracles do happen — seizing the moment comes naturally when it happens.  I firmly believe that certain types of brains require outside assistance or lucky events to make sweeping changes in their lives, no matter what sort of advice is popular these days.  I just want to say that if you’re one of the people out there who doesn’t feel uplifted by the “inspirational stories” and “inner power” self-help advice that gluts our society today, you are not alone, and you need not feel ashamed for being unable to act on that advice in your own life.

If fear is the mind-killer, then shame is the brain-killer.  The less shame you bear, the more ready you’ll be able to seize an opportunity when it finally presents itself.

Stay strong out there.